“Immense cave, unexplored depths.” Laconic note on a map of Westphalia from 1645 marking the site now known as the Balver Höhle. This karst cave was occupied during the stone age. Now it has been dynamited bigger and is used for multiday concerts and festivals with audiences of thousands of people. Rivers of beer. Schützenfests still take place there every year, and apparently they’ve added a celtic music festival. There used to be a big annual jazz festival there, with Dutchmen wearing lavender and light blue playing great slide guitar and mumbling fake English, interspersed with heartfelt “SHICK AH GO!”s.